Newlywed Diaries: Bermuda Blues

We’re in Bermuda and I just found a wireless connection. 

I promise I am not a career-obsessed woman, or an addicted blogger (although my husband would beg to differ). I was on my way to the ferry this morning, with the cool aqua water in sight, and I had to turn back because I left my phone in the B&B. Today is “Baby’s day out”  so to speak. It’s a wee bit of “me time” where the Bear and I go off and do our own thing, and then come back together, grateful for the freedom our relationship provides. The Bear is golfing today. It was my anniversary present to him.  A tee time at the club of his choice. My “me time” was to involve a ferry trip to the Dockyard in a neighboring Parish, a bit of run cake, a sip of rum swizzle and some SHOPPING for local goods. Unfortunately, I missed the ferry and the next one is in an hour.

Halfway there, sweating like an animal, I realized I left the phone back up the hill. For a moment I thought, “I would not have to go back if I was SINGLE.” But now, my heart and life are tethered to another person. I was surprised at my frustrated reaction. I was a single, independent woman for so long, these little thoughts seem to pop up unannounced. 

It’s not that my single life was “better” than my married one. At times I remember feeling as if I could die of loneliness. But the choices and the experiences were mine alone. I did not have to answer to anyone, but I did not have anyone I loved to come home to, either.

Yesterday we took the bus out to horsehoe beach, and the water was the most exquisite aqua I have ever seen. We frolicked in the waves and then enjoyed rum swizzles on the way back to Hamilton.

We are having an amazing time, but I realize now that if we were contestants on Survivor or The Amazing Race, we would probably end in a fireball- or divorce! We do not always travel well together. He’s a “barker” when he’s stressed and I am a bit of a princess. I love exploring and soaking everything in, but I don’t like to push it past my limits. He’s a thrill seeker who’s either living to the fullest, or lounging by the TV. He’s also reticent to try things he has never done before, like new foods or strange places, longing instead to skydive or drive a moped TOO FAST down a windy road. I find those things risky and scary, and try to avoid them.

I know I should not read too much into this. We are both having a wonderful time here, both together and apart, but spending six days on this island with nothing to do but drink RUM and swim and make love and watch TV (: () puts things in a new perspective. We are different in how we handle things, I have known that, but marriage, at times requires work to appreciate and acknowledge differences.

Maybe this was a lesson I was supposed to learn.

Gotta go an try my luck at the ferry again. Phone in hand this time. Any wisdom you choose to share will be greatly appreciated!

Wishing you sunshine and bliss.

M